Is Ego Necessary for Greatness?

Not going to lie, I come from a very humble beginning. One of my oldest memories is heating up an Eggo waffle while my mom tried to rest because she worked the night shift later that evening. For a good portion of my life, we lived in a rented-out basement because that's all we could afford.

So every six months or so, when I take some time to reflect and think about how someone like me could be where I am today, I'm always just amazed at how far I've come.

Which always leads to my next question: "How the fuck did I do it?" "Why was I the one to make it out of the people around me?" "Was I just smarter than everyone? Or maybe I was luckier?" I mean, obviously it's impossible to nail it all down to one thing; it's probably just the culmination of a lot of things. But I've always wanted to find what separated me from others.

And after deadass 3+ years of trying to figure it out, it's all because of my ego.

What is Ego?

Now hear me out. I already know what you're thinking. Especially those who already know me, you're probably thinking, "Of course Kenny would be egotistical enough to write something about ego and how necessary it is to success." And you ain't wrong. But I think this is what most people get wrong.

Most people think ego is arrogance. Being full of yourself. And if we're being real, the worst version of ego is exactly that. When we think of someone who's egotistical, we're usually picturing the worst version of it. Which then begs the question: what is ego actually?

But before I get into that, I want to talk about confidence first. If I asked most people, they'd say confidence is a good thing. Being confident is important. And I fully agree. I define confidence as self-belief backed by evidence. What I mean by that is, if someone has received reinforcement on their performance in school their entire life, it would make sense for them to be confident in their academic ability.

Now here's where ego deviates from confidence: ego is confidence without that evidence. It's confidence without permission. It's believing something about yourself before you've earned the right to.

And in a perfect world, everyone would have that evidence. Everyone would have the praise, the track record, the reinforcement to feel confident in themselves.

But here's a question: what if you weren't born gifted? What if you weren't privileged? What if you haven't been given the praise that most people in this world get? How are you supposed to become exceptional if you don't have the evidence to back your confidence? If you don't have the praise to back your self-belief?

That is exactly why ego is necessary. And that is exactly where it comes in.

Ego = Fire

Now in my pursuit to show the importance of ego, I want to paint a metaphor for how I personally see it. How I visualize it. How it operates.

And honestly, I'm going to use probably the worst example in human history, but I want you to think about ego like a fire.

Fire can be the catalyst to incredible things. It can heat a home, forge steel, light the way forward. And when you look at the people who have done the most remarkable things in modern history, every single one of them had a fire burning inside them that went far beyond normal confidence. Kanye West produced and wrote some of the most groundbreaking music of a generation. Muhammad Ali redefined what was possible in the ring and became the most recognized athlete on the planet. Elon Musk built a private space company that NASA itself now relies on. Steve Jobs put a computer in every home when the world thought that was absurd.

All of these people were fueled by ego. By a belief in themselves that, at the time, made no rational sense.

But here's the thing about fire: if you don't feed it, it dies. A fire without wood is just smoke. And that's exactly why people with ego are always in the pursuit of wins. They have to be. The fire demands it. You're not just sitting there hoping it stays lit. You're actively going out and getting wood.

For Kanye, that was recording "Through the Wire" two weeks after shattering his jaw in a car accident, rapping through a wired shut mouth, and turning it into a platinum debut single. For Ali, that was standing in front of cameras before he'd won anything and declaring "I am the greatest" until the world had no choice but to agree. For McGregor, that was predicting he'd knock out José Aldo in the first round after Aldo had been undefeated for a decade, and then doing it in 13 seconds. For Musk, that was pouring his last dollar into SpaceX after his childhood heroes, Neil Armstrong and Gene Cernan, testified before Congress that his company shouldn't exist.

Every single one of them went and got wood. They pursued the win. They fed the fire.

The obvious risk of feeding the fire is that if you feed it too much, it gets out of control. If you're always in the constant pursuit of more, always chasing the next win, always needing to be the best, well, the fire can spread. It can start a wildfire. And wildfires cause destruction. Kanye West's ego took him from producing beats nobody would let him rap over to creating some of the most critically acclaimed albums in music history. That same ego, left unmanaged, led to antisemitic rants, the "White Lives Matter" shirt, and losing nearly every major partnership he had. Adidas, Gap, Balenciaga, Vogue, all gone. He went from a billionaire to losing more than half his net worth practically overnight. Steve Jobs' ego built Apple into one of the most innovative companies on the planet. That same ego made him so impossible to work with that his own board fired him from the company he founded. Employees across every department were going to the CEO with complaints about his behavior. He got kicked out of his own house. Conor McGregor's ego let him knock out José Aldo in 13 seconds and become the biggest name in combat sports. That same ego had him throwing a dolly through a bus window, injuring other fighters, and spiraling into legal trouble after legal trouble. Muhammad Ali's ego made him the greatest boxer who ever lived. That same ego wouldn't let him stop. His own doctor quit after Ali refused to listen when he was told to retire. He kept fighting until he was 39 years old, absorbing damage that contributed to the Parkinson's disease that followed him for the rest of his life.

That's the hard part of ego. Yes, it can be the catalyst for incredible things. But it can also burn everything down. And like a real fire, you have to be very careful about how you manage it.

So the way I visualize my own ego is as a fire that I have to maintain. Some days I have to shield it. If it's a cold day and I'm taking loss after loss, I have to cover that fire. Protect it. Make sure it doesn't go out. Other days, when I'm winning and the wood keeps piling on, I have to make sure it doesn't get out of control. I can't just keep chasing wins and praise and validation without paying attention to the fire itself. I have to keep it healthy. Because again, if it gets too big, it causes destruction.

Closing Remarks

My very egotistical advice to anyone reading this (because let's be honest, nobody's reading this) is to understand the difference between ego and confidence.

I know I never really gave confidence its own metaphor, but to me confidence is like a lantern. It's still fire. It still emits light. But it's contained. It's safe. And you're never really pushing yourself beyond what's comfortable. In this area of my life where I'm trying to achieve big success, where I'm trying to be in the top percentile of whatever field I choose, a lantern isn't enough. I need something stronger, greater, and yes, more dangerous to play with.

But if you're someone who's ambitious, it's important to understand what ego is and how to use it to grow. And just as important, to understand how it can get out of control. You don't want to be known as the egotistical person. You want to be the person who used their ego to build something.

Now, one thing I didn't talk about, which I'll probably get into in another piece, is the spark. Because again, ego is a fire. And if there's no spark, that fire is never getting started.